"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, and that is all." - Oscar Wilde.
I don't remember when I first heard this quote, but it has always stuck with me. It makes you reflect on your own life: you ask yourself, "Am I really living?" The book The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery, exemplifies the difference between living and existing. The story is narrated by two extremely intelligent women, Renée and Paloma. Renée is an incredibly closed off women, a widow, with no children or family, and works in an apartment building as a concierge. Located in the heart of France, the apartment building is occupied by (as Renée would say) entitled people of extreme wealth. Paloma is an incredibly closed off teenage girl. As one of the people living in the apartment just mentioned, she is very rich, but very dissatisfied with her life. Without attention from her parents, or anyone for that matter, the book begins with her having made the decision that she is going to set her apartment on fire, with herself in it. The Elegance of the Hedgehog shows the journey these two women take, to find each other, themselves, and happiness. Through this story, Muriel Barbery shows that there is so much more to life than just existing.
"Madame Michel has the elegance of the hedgehog: on the outside, she's covered in quills, a real fortress, but my gut feeling is that inside, she has the same simple refinement as the hedgehog, a deceptively indolent little creature, fiercely solitary, and terribly elegant." - Paloma about Renée. I think this analogy is so beautiful, because it perfectly captures, not only Renée's personality, but also Paloma's. I guess it takes one to know one. In the beginning of the story, both characters have successfully created a front, a personality that isn't their own, but one they want to be perceived as. Both Paloma and Renée are intellectually advanced, much more so than anyone around them. Personality wise, neither fit their stereotype, but for everyone around them, the stereotype seems to perfectly fit. Paloma's rich family members are stuck up, entitled, and completely ignore anyone that isn't in their social class. Renée's best (and only) friend is a cleaning lady at the same apartment building, and is a poor, outspoken Latina, with a huge family. Everyone around Paloma and Renée are just as you would expect them to be, nothing less, nothing more. So as a way of preventing themselves from standing out, they chose to try and fit their stereotype too. Renée becomes the lazy, negative, and "weird" concierge. She is fat, ugly, and seems to be nothing more than that. Paloma becomes a spoiled brat, closed off from her family. She is seen the troubled child, nothing money can't fix. But they start to become more of the stereotype than themselves as the story progresses. Because once you get used to living a lie, it becomes the truth. This is just existing. Paloma and Renée are half themselves, half the person they are pretending to be. That's not really living.
It isn't until a Japanese man moves into the apartment building, that Paloma and Renée learn that they don't have to hide behind their fake selves. This cultured Japanese intellectual named Kakuro Ozu is just as smart as Paloma and Renée, but he doesn't need to hide his personality. He is able to show his intelligence, without being conscious of what others may think. He introduces Paloma and Renée to each other, changing their lives forever. Neither would ever even thought about even talking to one another, as they come from completely different worlds, but once they find each other, they feel understood. Because of each other, they discover that instead of living in the shadows, silent and lonely, they can be themselves. Paloma learns that there is so much more to life than the bubble she exists in, and by the end of the book, chooses not to commit suicide. Kakuro shows Paloma and Renée that they don't have to dragged through live, changing themselves to please others. Because you will never be able to please everyone, you will never be able to meet everyone's expectations, no matter how hard you try. Kakuro Ozu taught Paloma, Renée, and readers everywhere that you should choose to please yourself, before you choose to please others. That is living. Because before you can live your own authentic life, you need to be content in your own skin. Living a lie, isn't living, staying true to yourself is.
The common belief is that the rich have it all. That they can afford anything in their wildest dreams. In the story, Paloma gives an example of a dying old man, a widower, who was once a hardworking engineer, whose kids are poor, yet they too have children to raise and feed. And despite that, this man has the ability to create love, give love, and receive love. On the other hand Paloma explains her grandmother's life. Her grandmother has contributed nothing to society but fake smiles and lavish parties. She has a soul darker than the pits of hell, and yet she was given wealth and fortune beyond compare. Is the suffering that the old man is going through, the price we pay for love? Is money anything if we have no one to share it with? Paloma's grandmother may have existed in this fabulous life, but she never lived. Flashing fake smiles and hosting superficial parties may seem luxurious, but this cold hearted woman couldn't love. And what is life without love?
People want to hide their flaws and imperfections, because we want to showcase all of our positive qualities. We have become so worried about what others may think, we have stopped living life to the fullest. When Oscar Wilde said that living is the rarest thing in the world, it is because we have started restricting ourselves in what we do because society tells us we are different or we stand out. The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery makes you reflect on your own life and ask yourself "Am I really living?"
